Lorca’s Week In Review (Sports Edition)

Well, that settles it. My offspring were slow runners in the family’s first-ever attempt at organized cross country running, my college football team barely got through in OVERTIME in a game that should never have made it to overtime, and I’m pretty sure people still think ping pong is an Olympic sport. I give up.

I rounded out the week by breaking a computer that I didn’t think was even more breakable, finishing the writing of my latest book (woohoo!), and drinking celebratory wine that was imported all the way from Birmingham for the occasion. Fortunately, I remembered to dye my hair BEFORE the wine this time.

I still found time to Pin funny stuff, and here’s the proof. This video is probably the funniest thing I’ve seen in years, even if I am going to burn in hell for laughing at it.

And no, angry commenters, it’s not a funny video because he’s scared or because he’s overweight, it’s funny because his aunt’s the only person in his life willing to say to the kid, “Get your butt up on that ride! NOW!”

I reviewed another grown-up-like book for my day job, and it was another one of those books that pulls you in from the very beginning. Cascade was worth every penny and every minute.

In unrelated news, I figured out today that it is almost October, which means two things: Halloween and NaBloWriMo. Only one of those things is sexy, and I’ll let you use your imagination to figure out which one it is. Have a great week!

Lorca’s Week In Review

Maybe it won’t be that kind of week.

Well, I’m pretty sure the Olympics are over. I always quit watching after all the cool sports are done, but I noticed this year they snuck badminton in between different gymnastics events, just to get people to watch. Apparently there was actual a badminton scandal and protests were filed, but yet no one filed a protest that some committee thinks badminton is a sport. It’s kind of mean how they get all the great stuff out of the way, then they fill the days with things like the 6-mile swim and judo, then they come back for one last punch in the gut with an awesome marathon. Because watching an event for a little over two hours isn’t at all boring.

Now that the Olympics are over and Google can get that flame thing off its homepage, it’s time to focus on really important things like sending my kids back to school. Yes, this is the countdown, as tomorrow marks one week until school starts back for both kids and I have to say, they are every bit as sad about it as I am. On the bright side, it means we get to spend this week cramming in as much leftover fun as possible, like a deranged Finneas & Ferb on speed.

In better news, I talked about back to school on my Autism blog, too, but it’s not as funny as picturing my kids puking as I made them ride a roller coaster forty-three times in a row, just to get it all in there before next Monday.

When I’m pretending to be both a grown-up and a college graduate, I reviewed a pretty neat book about a platypus who’s wanted for arson, murder, and treason.

On my friends’ blogs, here is some of the really funky stuff that happened:

I peed when I read a nurse’s rant about men and their trouser snakes.

Talking to your plants is good. Reading them erotica…not so good.

This man swears it’s his dog who is on drugs, but I’ve been reading his stuff for a while and let me tell you, the pooch didn’t fall far from the tree.

Here’s some of the fun stuff I put on Pinterest when I was supposed to be working or feeding the dog.

Have a great week!

Lorca’s Week In Review

This is me when I figured out that I go back to work tomorrow.

Basically, anyone who is not a teacher is not going to feel the least bit sorry for me. But since I teach in the prison, we only get the month of July off in the summer. Yeah, I know. Cry me a handful. I still get way more time off than most people. But it doesn’t make me happy about going back to work tomorrow.

Since I was vacationing on borrowed time, I spent this last week traveling and getting kicked out of some of the nicer museums and attractions in this part of the country. If I wasn’t supposed to make fun of the inmates at the aquarium, why did you put them on display in giant tanks and let me walk through staring at them?

In less evicting news, I reviewed some real books for my real job and let me tell you, I hate mysteries but even I got sucked into a book coming out at the end of the month called Trickster’s Point by William Kent Krueger. On the other hand, I was left thoroughly confused by Seating Arrangements by Maggie Shipstead because I couldn’t figure out who we were supposed to like.

On my autism blog, I explain all about how I’m really confused by people who shout mean things about autism awareness through their bumper stickers, and I posted a really fun video of Carrie bouncing on my yoga ball (this is the same yoga ball she popped with her butt about a week after I took the video).

On some of the blogs I read, I found out that one lady has a rooster that’s living on borrowed time and this one other blogger thinks way too highly of lobsters. I also read one brilliant post just because how do you not click on the title, “Aren’t You Paid Not To Be Dumb?”

And finally, here’s all the hilarious stuff I found on Pinterest this week when I was supposed to be writing, but since I put the link to the funny Pinterest stuff on this blog on Sunday, then it’s practically research. I should get paid for it. There’s also this one recipe I found on Pinterest, and even though I shun recipes as a general rule because they involve cooking something, it’s for a cold remedy that this lady swears by. I’ll have to post it, but it involved honey, cider vinegar, cayenne, and ginger. I don’t remember the measurements, but just start adding it together until you feel better.

Lorca’s Week in Review (Way less annoying than going to the dentist)

This week marked the beginning of summer vacation for me (yes, if you can believe it, a state government somewhere actually decided I should teach impressionable children!), and I didn’t waste it. I tried out TONS of shit that I saw on Pinterest, not the least of which included burning my house down and blowing up a bar of Ivory soap in my microwave. I also tried to make a doormat out of all the wine corks I’ve been saving in the kitchen drawer, which only made me realize that I DRINK A LOT because it ended up becoming a living room rug.

On my Autism blog, I posted the world’s cutest video of my kid jumping up and down with the neighbor kid. If your kid isn’t autistic, that’s probably not a big deal to you, but if your kid IS autistic you realize this is bigger than the Nobel Prize. By the way, I don’t like how Nobel Prize is spelled. I want it spelled Noble. Because you should have to be noble to get it. Obviously, I’m not in charge of these things.

On my friends’ blogs, I found all of this stuff:

Please Don’t Piss Off The Chef

This friend of mine has an erotica blog with pictures of panties on it!

Apparently, a blow job CAN go on for too long…

These two people who aren’t married to each other still sit around and argue about stuff…

In book news, I read a super awesome book that is made even more awesomer by the fact that I got to read it and you didn’t because it’s not even published yet, but whenever Simon&Schuster gets around to publishing Trickster’s Point you should all run out and buy it. And this fantastical writer named Cyndy Drew Etler not only had her awesomesauce book published this week, but I GOT TO WRITE A BLURB ON THE BACK so you know it has to be cool. Or flammable. Probably flammable.

I spent a crazy amount of my first week of vacation sucked into the void of Pinterest, so here is some of the great stuff I totally stole from other Pinners:

Because It’s Funny

And for those of you keeping up with my Tweets, my dog’s tail is not broken. I know you’ve been pacing anxiously in the waiting room for that update.