This week marked the beginning of summer vacation for me (yes, if you can believe it, a state government somewhere actually decided I should teach impressionable children!), and I didn’t waste it. I tried out TONS of shit that I saw on Pinterest, not the least of which included burning my house down and blowing up a bar of Ivory soap in my microwave. I also tried to make a doormat out of all the wine corks I’ve been saving in the kitchen drawer, which only made me realize that I DRINK A LOT because it ended up becoming a living room rug.

On my Autism blog, I posted the world’s cutest video of my kid jumping up and down with the neighbor kid. If your kid isn’t autistic, that’s probably not a big deal to you, but if your kid IS autistic you realize this is bigger than the Nobel Prize. By the way, I don’t like how Nobel Prize is spelled. I want it spelled Noble. Because you should have to be noble to get it. Obviously, I’m not in charge of these things.

On my friends’ blogs, I found all of this stuff:

Please Don’t Piss Off The Chef

This friend of mine has an erotica blog with pictures of panties on it!

Apparently, a blow job CAN go on for too long…

These two people who aren’t married to each other still sit around and argue about stuff…

In book news, I read a super awesome book that is made even more awesomer by the fact that I got to read it and you didn’t because it’s not even published yet, but whenever Simon&Schuster gets around to publishing Trickster’s Point you should all run out and buy it. And this fantastical writer named Cyndy Drew Etler not only had her awesomesauce book published this week, but I GOT TO WRITE A BLURB ON THE BACK so you know it has to be cool. Or flammable. Probably flammable.

I spent a crazy amount of my first week of vacation sucked into the void of Pinterest, so here is some of the great stuff I totally stole from other Pinners:

Because It’s Funny

And for those of you keeping up with my Tweets, my dog’s tail is not broken. I know you’ve been pacing anxiously in the waiting room for that update.