Olympics

Lorca’s Week In Review

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Maybe it won’t be that kind of week.

Well, I’m pretty sure the Olympics are over. I always quit watching after all the cool sports are done, but I noticed this year they snuck badminton in between different gymnastics events, just to get people to watch. Apparently there was actual a badminton scandal and protests were filed, but yet no one filed a protest that some committee thinks badminton is a sport. It’s kind of mean how they get all the great stuff out of the way, then they fill the days with things like the 6-mile swim and judo, then they come back for one last punch in the gut with an awesome marathon. Because watching an event for a little over two hours isn’t at all boring.

Now that the Olympics are over and Google can get that flame thing off its homepage, it’s time to focus on really important things like sending my kids back to school. Yes, this is the countdown, as tomorrow marks one week until school starts back for both kids and I have to say, they are every bit as sad about it as I am. On the bright side, it means we get to spend this week cramming in as much leftover fun as possible, like a deranged Finneas & Ferb on speed.

In better news, I talked about back to school on my Autism blog, too, but it’s not as funny as picturing my kids puking as I made them ride a roller coaster forty-three times in a row, just to get it all in there before next Monday.

When I’m pretending to be both a grown-up and a college graduate, I reviewed a pretty neat book about a platypus who’s wanted for arson, murder, and treason.

On my friends’ blogs, here is some of the really funky stuff that happened:

I peed when I read a nurse’s rant about men and their trouser snakes.

Talking to your plants is good. Reading them erotica…not so good.

This man swears it’s his dog who is on drugs, but I’ve been reading his stuff for a while and let me tell you, the pooch didn’t fall far from the tree.

Here’s some of the fun stuff I put on Pinterest when I was supposed to be working or feeding the dog.

Have a great week!

I Have All the Symptoms of Olympic Withdrawal

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The closest I ever got to participating in the Olympics was this one year…no, I don’t really have a good anecdote about world-class caliber sports training. I was just never that good at any sports, and quite frankly, I have a touch of a lazy streak. If I were in the Olympics and everybody was walking around before the start getting all “in the zone,” I would be the one person thinking, “Geez, that pool looks cold. I bet it’s cold. Can I jump in and get used to the water first?”

But I enjoy watching other people suffer to see if they’re better at something than everyone else on the planet.

I am a freak for the Olympics. I love the opening ceremonies, no matter how ludicrous, and even the ridiculous penis-shaped mascots warm my heart. I love that Granada won its first EVER medal this year, or how, despite the fall of Communism, the Russian gymnasts still have that look on their faces like someone’s going to execute their parents if they don’t stick the landing. It’s all amazing to me.

So I’m going to be suffering through Olympic-sized withdrawals over the next few weeks. The scratching at my skin, the tremors, the hallucinations, it’s all just symptoms of me missing NBC’s round-the-clock live streaming of every sport, and I admit that I’m using the term “sport” loosely. Looking at you, badminton.

Lorca’s Week in Review

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This past week was kind of like a hangover wedged between two binge drinking events. We went to the beach for one week and then we’re going on some day trips next week, so this past week was where we kind of just lolled around the house stuffing ourselves on Cheetos and watching reruns of Psych on Netflix.

Of course, the Olympics started, and nothing says summer time like watching men’s swimming because they’re all wearing those outfits from Magic Mike. Awesomeness, just add water. And to go along with the 2012 Live-From-London fun, here is a great infographic on how to maintain a good drunk all the way to the Closing Ceremonies.

If you don’t have booze at your house, here is some fun stuff I Pinned instead:

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

On a really serious note, I wrote a blog post for my Autism blog about people judging me for how I raise my kids. My firm stance on the issue is the only people who can judge me for my parenting style would be the actual judge who signs the court order having Child Welfare take them from the home.

Lastly, I read a grown-up book this week AND a publisher let me take a stab at editing a manuscript. Or as I like to call it, eat a man’s soul. Look for that book to come out in November, but I’ve already got a sick feeling the author won’t be thanking me in the acknowledgements.