There Goes My Resolution Not to Be a Bitch

I really wanted to be a better person this year, but two things happened. First, I woke up and accidentally dropped my toothbrush in the toilet, and of course the toothbrush stores are closed today so I’ve been walking around the house swishing toothpaste and club soda together to try to get my mouth clean. I’m trying really hard not to take it as a sign that 2012 is going to suck camel ass.

The second thing that happened was I stumbled on this music video that actually had a catchy tune, if I needed a playlist of songs to listen to while bludgeoning people to death. It was like staring at someone who forgot to put his pants on. You’re staring and you know it’s wrong, but oh well it’s the most interesting thing you’ve seen all day.

And there, at the end of the video…an advertisement. I’m all prepared for an ad for iTunes or where I can download this band’s music. Nope. The best advertising fail ever just happened on a song called “Vampire Rock Anthem – Live Forever.”

I don't know Disney, what do YOU think a vampire might do with one more day?

I shudder to think what hordes of vampires might do on Space Mountain, especially since Disney is INVITING them there. And the Baptists were afraid of Gay Days. You ain’t seen sin and carnage until the undead jump in line at the Dumbo ride.

8 thoughts on “There Goes My Resolution Not to Be a Bitch

    • No worries! I thought it was tragic that YouTube stuck a DisneyWorld commercial on a vampire rock anthem! And thanks, 2012 has been better than that first day!

    • Oh my gosh, that would be awesome! Let’s get Gary Oldman’s character (the younger him, not the cryptkeeper him) and Sting in that vampire movie to run amok in among the little midget animatrons!

    • Thank you. I’m glad my pain amuses you. It’s my job to be the comedic whipping boy (girl) for the Universe! Grrrrrrr! (kidding…thanks for reading!)

  1. Gross images but it does offer possibilities. You have to admit that when you are stuck in one of those interminable lines at the Mouse, being able to just bite the people in front of you and step over them does have a certain appeal.

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