Last week sucked koala butt. I got bitten by a spider, my kid broke her leg and got braces in the same day, a dear woman I know passed away, and school starts back today. With the exception of the friend (who lost a ten-year battle with cancer, so even there, it’s bitter sweet because she’s not hurting anymore), the other items on the list are all tied for the silver medal in the Suckfest Olympics.
I’ve figured out my new multi-drazillion dollar business: professional homeschooling. I’m pretty much okay with wherever my kids go to school and who their teachers are, but it would be awesome if I could get up and get ready for work, then have someone else come in and wake my kids up and teach them stuff. Heck, they can even send them to the school up the road, if they wanted to. It’s not like I’d ever know the difference. Just don’t make me get them there at the same time that my body is supposed to be at my job. The hard part of being a working mom isn’t the work, people, it’s getting three human beings out the door without one of us getting arrested for indecent exposure. Someone work on this, please.
Luckily, there’s all kinds of neat things going on that kind of balance out the hard parts. I reviewed a new book and it wasn’t the worst trashy romance book ever. I’ve read some doozies. This one actually dragged out the whole schmexy part, to the point that you wondered if the cowboy was ever actually going to get down to business with the cute, educated, titled divorcee-turned-cattle-drive-cook from England who ran off to America when she found out her husband the Duke was gay. Yeah.
On my autism blog, I explain why it’s really important to have the right clothes for school. Sometimes it’s so you can fit in. Sometimes it’s so you don’t wet your pants in the fourth grade. Think it through.
On these other blogs I read, all kinds of stuff happened:
Dude, Grow A Pair. Don’t Let Your Woman Pluck Your Nose Hair.
This description of the worst first date in the history of dating.
And I added a whole new board for teachers on Pinterest, even though the Funny board is…well…funnier.
Lorca Damon 