Happy Something Crawled Out of Your Vagina Day

Face it, you know I’m right. When you really get down to the definition, the only reason I woke up to a torn Target sack containing a Yonana frozen banana smasher this morning is because not-one-but-two real-live humans clawed their way out of my lady garden. Call me cynical, but we’ve always known Mother’s Day is a made-up holiday intended to sell stuff. Mostly cards and flowers. And now, thanks to kitchen appliance technology, crap-ton car loads of bananas.

You might already be wondering how my husband is faring after presenting me with a kitchen appliance for Mother’s Day, but I immediately realized that if its blades are tough enough to turn frozen bananas into something the has the texture of ice cream, this little gadget might be handy in getting rid of the body. It’s a keeper.

Speaking of keepers, book mark this video and watch it later with your girlfriends while drinking stupid amounts of margaritas.

10 thoughts on “Happy Something Crawled Out of Your Vagina Day

  1. After 45 years of marriage I thought I had every kitchen appliance ever invented but a banana smasher is a new one to me. If they do an infomercial, I’m sure I will get one next year. How does it do on turning limes into margaritas?

  2. I don’t want men to experience the pain of childbirth – I want them to experience the 9 months that preceded my births! Your blog title suddenly makes me glad I had two c-sections, even though ordinarily I’d have preferred otherwise!

  3. Note to self. Contact Lorca’s family next April and remind them that if they do not score “mom” something awesome, we all suffer for it. 😉 I’m with the previous comments. I’m kind of scared to watch that video, too.
    Seriously, I hope you had a good day.


    • Well, no thanks to all the non-well wishers who doubted the video, I had a great mother’s day. And not just because I can now macerate the evidence!

  4. I’m with Susan, I think I’ll get Ishbel to moderate the video before I chance it as I fear something terrible is in store for genus male

    But, never the less happy Mothers day and I’ll bet you really enjoyed the banana shake and for gawds sake don’t let on to your daughter about the destructive power of those blades ….


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