Bounce Your Cares Away

We bought a trampoline for the express purpose of saving money. Yes, a $300 play thing for the yard was an investment because it’s my sincere hope that our youngest child will get some of her energy out by bouncing up and down on the second most dangerous childhood toy after lawn jarts. If this works the way I plan, we can stop spending $800 a year on generic Ritalin from a Canadian online pharmacy.

But since we’ve always known she’s autistic and not stupid, the trampoline hasn’t worked out exactly as I planned. She’s learned that she can just lie down on the trampoline and coerce other people into bouncing on it for it. She gets launched in the air by their efforts and doesn’t have to do a lick of work.

My husband is her typical victim. He walks in the door after a long day at work, loosens his tie, and is pounced upon. She smiles sweetly, bats her eyelashes, and says, “Daddy, would you come outside and be my friend?” He falls for it every single time because he’s a good man.

Here’s the problem: Our back yard faces a rather busy highway and we have a wooden privacy fence around the property, so all the people traveling that highway are treated to a daily carnival side show act of a 250-pound middle-aged man going to town on a trampoline. He’s putting so much effort into propelling our daughter in weightless oblivion, but he ends up looking like the saddest recruit ever to audition for Cirque du Soleil. The motorists can’t see the little kid sprawled on the trampoline, they just see my husband. Enjoying his toy.

Enjoy the show as much as I do.

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11 thoughts on “Bounce Your Cares Away

  1. I was really getting into the rock’n music that went with the video! I only noticed I was bopping up and down to it when the video stopped suddenly and I hadn’t. Looks like too much fun!

    • They’ll either bounce you or put you in a home. You’d better be nice about requesting their help on the trampoline or they’re going to pick the suckiest home possible.

    • Definitely him jumping. You watching it is research. You’re practically saving the planet, and he’s just bouncing up and down on a trampoline. 🙂

  2. That’s awesome! We used to have one, too. Actually we had a couple of them over the years, come to think of it. I used to launch my youngest so high into the air. I might have gotten a bigger kick out of it than he did. We used to play a tag game where others would throw foam balls at each other. The kids would go all Matrix in order to avoid the ball. I suppose that made the danger even more real, but what did we know? Thankfully no one got hurt. I tried a trick one time on that thing. I remember the world spinning hopelessly out of control. I never did that again!

    -Jimmy

    • We bought the cheap rubbery playground balls specifically to pelt the kids with, but the dog decided she wanted all of the balls. She chewed a Lab-sized hole through the enclosure, brought the balls out one-by-one, and destroyed them all across the yard. Sigh…

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