I thank the social media gods every day for the engineering school drop outs who left college to start a multi-bazillion dollar company called Klout. It’s the most awesome source of humor fodder I can find. Today’s surprise was the notification I received that Klout had decided I am influential about seventeen topics, the newest of which is puppies.
I can add puppies to a lofty list of my expert topics that includes LGBT, Time Travel, Rabies, Politicians, Mustard, and Terrorism.
The amazing thing about this is I don’t have to actually know anything about any of those topics, I just have to tell you that I do. And that makes me influential. It’s now time to write a blog post about Republicans strapping bombs to mustard-covered rabid dogs and setting them loose on an unsuspecting public. Oh, and the Republicans are gay. Or maybe the dogs are gay. I’m not real clear on that part.
Either way, half the battle is knowing the limits of the scope of my knowledge and influence. Apparently, there is no limit. I can be influential about anything I want. Stay tuned for my next newsworthy post.
IN UNRELATED NEWS: I’m headed to Orlando tomorrow so I won’t be posting over the weekend. You’re welcome. Take these few days to reflect on your own life and enjoy the quiet that comes from me not showing you a picture of a dog wearing a cape made out of condoms.
Lorca Damon 
That is the most awesome pup pic ever. You do have interesting klout topics, I’ve got to hand it to you.
Mustard? That one is neat. Have you decided what kind of mustard you will be influencing us about?
I want to be influential about frosting. I am so good with it. I can build little snowmen out of the 7 minute stuff and rabid dogs out of the chocolate kind ( hint” use the 7 minute stuff for the frothy mouth……
You prompted me to go check on mine again. I have a few funny ones:
-Pregnancy – so I damn well should be after experiencing nearly the whole gamut of pregnancy symptoms in 5 compact months. It was intense! Maybe not in a good way, but I am now a certifiable expert. Or maybe just certifiable.
Parenting – Yes… I have less than 2 years experience but I am an expert. Ask me your questions about problem teenagers!
Weddings – Done it twice, I gues than makes me more expert than anyone who has done it less
Black Holes – yeeesss (everything I know, I learned from Stargate. Don’t tell!)
I’m still reeling from LGBT and Mustard. I am gay-friendly and even pro-gay marriage, but I don’t know that I talk about it all that much. I do talk about it much more than I talk about mustard.