Every once in a while I want to kill someone. It’s not usually because my victim actually did something to me or wronged me in any “Cask of Amontillado” kind of way, but just because I live in a world where this warning label is necessary.
Yes, folks, this warning label is on the cord to our flat-iron. An In-Styler brand flat-iron, to be precise, and no, I don’t have to tell you why I own one. For those not in the know (or those of you who are hairless…God still loves you), an In-Styler is a device with a 400-degree metal barrel that spins against a flat-piece of metal, also at 400-degrees. The point is to smooth your hair. Or in the case of this warning label, your eyelashes. Now I want to drive my car straight through a crowded McDonald’s.
UPDATED: I can’t lie to you. The girls in this photo did not burn their eyes with their flat-irons. In fact, I REALLY wish they had. This is a photo from a fetish site…there are seriously weirdos out there who get turned on by woman who are bandaged! In their defense, they don’t want their women to ACTUALLY be injured, they just want them to be bandaged like they’re injured. I SOOOOO wish I was making that up. It’s called Injured Idol. Google, I swear, then you will owe me a Coke ’cause I’m right and you don’t believe me. NOW can I kill somebody please?