Chewbacca Mom Is Everything That’s Wrong with the Internet

I know, I know, I’m a little late to the “let’s all hate this woman and her infectious laugh” party, but it’s taken me this long to really care about the issue. And now I do. Thanks to the asshole who made it all about me.

Back up: this lady posts a Facebook Live thing for her own friends and family to enjoy. Her little slice of discounted retail item heaven is so uplifting and happy place-inducing that it goes viral. First, she gets a visit from a major retailer who thanks her for all the free exposure of their store with a few more Star Wars-themed goodies. Yay. Then she gets a few TV appearances…more yay. Then somehow, that translates into scholarships for her children…what the what?

Of course, it took about twelve parsecs (that’s a Star Wars references for those of you who simply aren’t cool enough to know) for the internet to start hating this woman. There were the initial and totally expected fat-shaming comments every time someone shared it, the typical “this is white privilege at its finest” arguments, even hate from the cosplay crowd who wasn’t convinced this woman loved Star Wars enough to have earned the right to don a cheap plastic Chewbacca mask and enjoy it.

But then shit got real. She started charging for autographs? I mean, WHAT? She paid for a booth at a celebrity event, and people had to actually fork over a few bucks to get to meet her and get her autograph? OMG! Somebody stop her!

People, don’t be assholes. This woman saw her fifteen minutes of fame flash right in front of her face, and she had the brains to grab onto that shit like a drowning man going down for the third time. The whole point of her happy little video was that she’d saved up enough Kohl’s bucks to buy herself something fun, something that she even points out in the video she’ll get to play with for about four minutes before her kids get their greedy little hands on it. I don’t care what kind of viral content I put up, if it somehow translates into a free Ivy League education for one of my kids, forget the chump change of paying for my autograph, I’d make you pay to breathe the oxygen around me.

So how did this come around to me? I got tired of the stupid-ass hater comments on my blogs. I seriously had someone comment recently, calling me an asshole for a blog post I wrote in FUCKING FEBRUARY OF 2015! Honey chile, I been an asshole way more times than that one blog post just since last week, let alone since a year ago winter!

But the internet has given us free rein to be shitty to each other. See a post, gotta say something. And there’s a 93% chance it’ll be something ignorant and ugly. Chewbacca Mom didn’t ruin the internet, but the way people have treated her sure is everything that’s wrong with it. So stop being assholes in the comments…just laugh along with the happy little Star Wars woman, and if you don’t like it… move along, these aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

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