Chewbacca Mom Is Everything That’s Wrong with the Internet

I know, I know, I’m a little late to the “let’s all hate this woman and her infectious laugh” party, but it’s taken me this long to really care about the issue. And now I do. Thanks to the asshole who made it all about me.

Back up: this lady posts a Facebook Live thing for her own friends and family to enjoy. Her little slice of discounted retail item heaven is so uplifting and happy place-inducing that it goes viral. First, she gets a visit from a major retailer who thanks her for all the free exposure of their store with a few more Star Wars-themed goodies. Yay. Then she gets a few TV appearances…more yay. Then somehow, that translates into scholarships for her children…what the what?

Of course, it took about twelve parsecs (that’s a Star Wars references for those of you who simply aren’t cool enough to know) for the internet to start hating this woman. There were the initial and totally expected fat-shaming comments every time someone shared it, the typical “this is white privilege at its finest” arguments, even hate from the cosplay crowd who wasn’t convinced this woman loved Star Wars enough to have earned the right to don a cheap plastic Chewbacca mask and enjoy it.

But then shit got real. She started charging for autographs? I mean, WHAT? She paid for a booth at a celebrity event, and people had to actually fork over a few bucks to get to meet her and get her autograph? OMG! Somebody stop her!

People, don’t be assholes. This woman saw her fifteen minutes of fame flash right in front of her face, and she had the brains to grab onto that shit like a drowning man going down for the third time. The whole point of her happy little video was that she’d saved up enough Kohl’s bucks to buy herself something fun, something that she even points out in the video she’ll get to play with for about four minutes before her kids get their greedy little hands on it. I don’t care what kind of viral content I put up, if it somehow translates into a free Ivy League education for one of my kids, forget the chump change of paying for my autograph, I’d make you pay to breathe the oxygen around me.

So how did this come around to me? I got tired of the stupid-ass hater comments on my blogs. I seriously had someone comment recently, calling me an asshole for a blog post I wrote in FUCKING FEBRUARY OF 2015! Honey chile, I been an asshole way more times than that one blog post just since last week, let alone since a year ago winter!

But the internet has given us free rein to be shitty to each other. See a post, gotta say something. And there’s a 93% chance it’ll be something ignorant and ugly. Chewbacca Mom didn’t ruin the internet, but the way people have treated her sure is everything that’s wrong with it. So stop being assholes in the comments…just laugh along with the happy little Star Wars woman, and if you don’t like it… move along, these aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

11 thoughts on “Chewbacca Mom Is Everything That’s Wrong with the Internet

  1. Well, the video was cute – but I only manage to watch for maybe 20 seconds. SLOW! Plus the link is to somewhere that keeps putting pop-up messages over it, so I stopped. I AM NOT ADDICTED.

    Hope you find your product which leads to an Ivy League education for a kid.

  2. You never fail to make me laugh all the way to the deep thoughts. I loved Chewy Mom, and kinda wish I’d thought of putting on a stupid mask and laughing into a camera. More power to her!

  3. Sadly the internet lets assholes be themselves , secure in the belief that their family and friends will never find out what hate filled douche bags they really are. Its the same ” you can’t see me” attitude that fuels road rage.

  4. There are always selfish assholes who have to hate on SOMETHING because their own lives are so goddamned miserable. They just can’t stand to see someone have a little bit of success and cash in on it, mainly because they themselves would NEVER have thought of it, or thought it was just stupid. I saw the video where she rode around in her Chewbacca mom van and J. J. Abrams popped up. She almost had a cow. So, let this little charming lady have her 15 minutes. She knows that in the span of time, it won’t be long and she needs to provide for her kids and protect them in this hate-filled, scary world. Good on her!

    • You’re so right! She made people smile and managed to gain something for her family at the same time. Chewbacca Mom for President!

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