HaHa! (cue the rest of my evil laughter…I don’t really have a good evil laugh so this imaginary soundtrack will have to do.) It’s 10:33PM where I live, and you’re thinking, “Oh my goodness! Lorca didn’t post anything today! And to think she was so committed to #NaBloWriMo! She must be DEAD or drunk. Someone send either the paramedics or some strong black coffee to her house STAT!”

You are so melodramatic. The truth is, I simply forgot. That’s what happens when you start the day by getting one kid to school and the other to a field trip in the next city, still manage to make it to work on time, pick up both kids from school, come home, make dinner, write three articles, LIVE BLOG A PRESS CONFERENCE IN HONG KONG, arrange two interviews, clean up some Dachshund urine, bathe the kids, get them to bed, write another article, take a shower, and go to bed.

Suddenly, you sit up in bed and scream, “I didn’t say anything funny on the internet today!” And we all know how my husband loves to be jolted from a sound sleep by a woman screaming weird-assed remarks. And you had the nerve to tell people I was drunk. You should be ashamed.