Let’s All Kill Whales Really, Really Loudly

See, this post isn’t even close to what you think it’s about. But using a blog post title like, “You’re a Fucking Fucktard, and Your Offspring Are Fucktards, Too,” isn’t really all that good for your rankings in the search engines. It’s really, really a bad SEO move. So I decided to type something about loud-assed whales.

There’s this news story circulating on the internet about a Canadian woman who shoved a typewritten note under her neighbor’s door, complaining in a rather non-sensitive way about the autistic boy who lived there during the summer. The nicest thing this letter had to say was that the grandmother should “donate all his non-retarded body parts” before they had the autistic boy put to sleep. Yes, like a mangy dumpster dog who’s missing an eye and pukes his own blood.

The outcry was loud, with many calling for an outing of the woman’s identity. And I kind of want her head on a pike in my front yard, too, but not for the reasons most people might think. Yes, I have an autistic daughter, but no, I really wish I could honestly say this is the very first time EVER that a dipshidiot said something nasty about handicapped people. My real problem with this woman goes far, far deeper.

She’s into dead whales.


Clearly, she indicates that the boy is guilty of “noise polluting whaling.” So it would be okay to bludgeon any whales that came up in the family’s yard as long as he did it quietly? Dead whales=good, being loud about killing whales=bad?

Now, as a college educated adult, I feel fairly confident that she meant “wailing.” I’ll let that slide. What I cannot overlook is the blatant abuse of grammar in this letter. Of course, the content of the message indicates that she should be forced to choke on her own uterus, so I shouldn’t be very surprised by the complete massacre of grammar conventions in the note. It was lovely of her to soften the blow of her letter by using pink paper, though, but I’m afraid it’s all she had left after making her “God Hates Fags” signs for her church.

This post dedicated to Sherry Fraser Snider, writer extraordinaire, who publicly called me out for not jumping on this story yesterday. She was saddened to think that I was quietly letting it go, but as anyone who’s known me for more than a minute and a half already knows, I am incapable of both “quiet” and “letting it go.”



13 thoughts on “Let’s All Kill Whales Really, Really Loudly

  1. Wow! Seriously, that letter made me want to make loud annoying noises outside her house for hours on end. The teacher in me laughed at her abuse of exclamation marks and caps, because as an adult she should know better (one or the other lady! There’s only so loudly you can yell on paper). My fourth graders know how to properly use exclamation marks. It’s really not that hard. They also know how to embrace others and show empathy (clearly that lady has none). Perhaps karma will bite her in the a$$ someday in a very appropriate manner.

  2. This letter was clearly written by an idiot. I use the word idiot at the most clinical level. A person extremely retarded

  3. Yes, I certainly do have something to say about this!!!!! YOU ROCK, WOMAN!!!!!!!
    I was APPALLED at what this IDIOTIC TWIT did, but I calm myself with something my mother always told me and I believe to this day because I’ve seen it many times. She will get hers. Whether or not anyone actually finds out who this woman is, and there is no doubt in my mind that they will because she obviously isn’t smart enough to hide her BLATANT STUPIDITY from too many people for long, I do believe that she will pay for this for the rest of her life. The really sad part is, though, that her children will carry on with this continued horrific form of prejudice because the apple REALLY doesn’t fall far from the tree!

  4. Perhaps all children should be banished from restaurants, movie theaters, playing outside etc since God knows any child at any age can be irritating at times. Perhaps if we concentrated more on not being dipshidiots( my new fav word, thanks Lorca) the world would be a better place for all of us. Sigh. Somebody get the letter-writing bitch an ipod!

  5. I’ve seen the news about this; and cried over it – and I’m sure this woman is currently cowering in her home and praying that she’s never “outed,” particularly after the backlash.

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