There’s Some Scary Stuff on the Internet

Sorry, everyone. Just… sorry. I got up really early today to get a lot of work done, and while I was working at my computer, I felt our little dog lay down at my feet and brush her silky long ears against my toes. All was right with the world. And then I remembered that the dog was actually downstairs in the guest room with the kids, since they all had a big sleepover and watched movies all night. By the time I realized that the five minutes or so of soft toe-tickling was being done by a giant wood roach running back and forth across my bare feet, I pretty much lost it. I sprayed my entire office with Raid.

But then had to keep working. I’m pretty sure I’ve either now been repeatedly licking envelopes, or I’ve lost my taste buds. And I keep seeing midgets dance in the corner.

All of that is to explain why I felt the need to share these pants with you. Seriously, this is probably one of those images you really never should have stumbled across, and coupled with the horribly inappropriate footwear, it’s best to just click off this now. But here it is, in all of its droopy britches glory. I think the purpose of these pants is to shield the world from the fact that you’re wearing Depends, and that you’ve been wearing them for about twelve hours too long. It’s possible you’re supposed to carry things in there, like a kangaroo pouch, but wouldn’t you think they’d have a woman model them? Since the boy kangaroos don’t have pouches?

pants

UPDATE: I just had to Google “do boy kangaroos have pouches?” and I’m sad to say that not only are there some very mixed views on the subject, but there were also some very disturbing images of men in kangaroo outfits carrying other men in their pouches. Run. Run away. NOW, before I inhale some more household chemicals and decide to share those pictures.

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19 thoughts on “There’s Some Scary Stuff on the Internet

  1. OMG my wife and son and I are literally falling out of bed reading this. I’m dying here. We SO needed this!!!

    And BTW, my wife and I just moved AGAIN not too long ago and we can’t get rid of the F***ing palmetto bugs!!! My wife who has hyper-sensitivity issues keeps jumping up in the middle of the night cause she thinks the sheets are palmetto bugs crawling across her.

  2. Laughing so hard! And I really needed something to laugh about today. Roaches will do that to you. We bought a house once and it completely remodeled. During the remodel, we evidently incurred a roach infestation that took forever to get rid of. Like a couple of years. When I was pregnant with number 2, a roach flew out of my blow drier and hit me on the head. After #2 was born, I found a roach in her crib. After that she slept with me for way too long. She is my “disturbed” child. I blame it on those damn roaches.

    • Those are famous words that I just need stitched on a throw pillow. Can you imagine walking into someone’s house and seeing a tapestry pillow with Gothic font that says, “I ain’t havin’ sex with him” for everyone to enjoy?

  3. Boy, and it makes him so darned attractive too! The only thing that could make him look more like a weenus is the addition of a murse, or man-purse.

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