I Might Be The Reason SOPA Was Proposed

Let me be the first to tell you, I don’t know what I’m talking about. I have no clue. All I know about SOPA is that Mozilla Firefox has a black band across the poor little fox character’s face and the Google doodle has a black stripe blocking it out. And that people keep saying we should stop SOPA and the other thing. Okay, I’m actually a little embarrassed for myself right now.

I’m also more than a little ashamed that Congress thinks I’m such a douche that you need to be protected from me. I am ever so sorry about that. I feel like I should be taking all my clothes off, slapping on a trench coat, and waiting for you behind a park bench. Like PeeWee Herman or George Michael or about eighteen different politicians.

Sure, I admit that in the past year I’ve used more than my fair share of dirty words on my blogs, words that my grandmother would smack me for using even if I didn’t actually speak them out loud. And there have been quite a few pictures of scantily clad people on my blog, but I swear I wasn’t showing them to you to get you all horny. I showed them to you because I was laughing at them. And yes, I wrote a blog post about filling a grocery sack with human feces. And I wrote about game wardens having wild animal sex in their bass boats. And I think I also wrote about diaper fetishes and bestiality, but I could have dreamed that last one.

All in all, our government thinks you need to be protected from me and they’re probably even right. But I can’t live in a world where you can’t pop over to the internet on your lunch hour and read about the time I accidentally walked into the porno section of our local movie rental place.

The real shame is I’ve figured out exactly what’s behind all this SOPA/Piss-in-Pipa thing…CONGRESS IS AFRAID YOU WILL SEE PICTURES OF THEM NAKED ON THE INTERNET. No, really, hear me out on this one. If YOU aren’t allowed to look at pictures of nekkid people online, YOU WON’T FIND PICTURES OF CONGRESSMAN WEINER’S WEINER. It’s so brilliant in its simplicity.

Rather than take a hard look at the dumb-assed shit our politicians have been doing in their off time, they just collectively decided NOT TO LET YOU FIND OUT ABOUT IT. They should have thought of it years ago.

So now all these blackout protests have been staged and I’m protesting as well. Be careful. If SOPA/Whatchamacallit passes, I’m going to post the F-word 500 times on my blog. No, I don’t plan to be creative about it. I’m just going to start typing FUCK over and over and post it online. You probably won’t get to see it because it will be censored, but I will feel better knowing that I did it. Yes, I will probably just pay some teenager to type it for me because said-teenager will find it funny and because I’m too lazy to actually follow through. But it’s the thought that counts.

9 thoughts on “I Might Be The Reason SOPA Was Proposed

  1. If You Thought SOPA Was Bad, Just Wait Until You Meet ACTA.


    The Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement (ACTA) is similar but more expansive than SOPA. It spans most of the countries in the developed world including the US, the EU, Switzerland and Japan. It has been secretly negotiated between governments behind closed doors and signed by the United States in 2011. It appears to go further than the Internet, involving generic drugs, and food and seed patents.

  2. Here, hear…there, there! no, seriously, I hope someone didn’t copyright “sh*t” or you will be in deep sh*t (if SOPA passes)!

    An economic-historian has described the USA as an empire in decline. This is just one more step toward that end. Maybe Disney and Rupert Murdock can rewrite the US Constitution and close the deal!

  3. I especially love the tags in this post: Congressmen, feces, naked people, protests, SOPA. pretty much sums it up right there.

  4. -wow-

    Thank you for standing up and writing about this also.

    It’s a scary damned bill. I am delighted to see the amount of people stand up and say “hahahaha” you just THOUGHT we weren’t paying attention.

    No more Fahrenheit 451 for us thanks WE read the book, we know when the government is trying to decide what is “right” for us, and not what we actually need.

    Please don’t misunderstand, i am for protection of copyright, i am not for censorship

  5. Actually I think it’s about people ripping off Lorca by stealing her book…..I against that too! But pictures of congressmentnekkid? I don’t want to SEE it but would love to hear them explain it away. Sort of like kicking an ant hill to see the critters running amok. …..

  6. I think I will join you typing the F word on my blog. If the law passes, blogs that review books will be shut down just for linking to a book page. That’s just absurd. I think it’s a shame that our country which always talks about freedom of expression is trying to take our on line freedom away. I am all for ending piracy, but not freedom.

  7. I don’t mean to sound ignorant, but I am really having a hard time understanding all this. I am perfectly fine with the little warning buttons that say I am entering into adult territory and if folks don’t want to look they shouldn’t LOL I tried to read the bill and educate myself and appear more in the know and I could not understand what the heck they were talking about LOL You go girl, I personally enjoy your posts and hope to continue to do so!

    • It’s got very little to do with obscenity or pornography. It’s got more to do with control and greed.

      The basics are this: if these are put into effect there will be no due process when a complaint is made against a site. It will simply be IP blocked. Sites that link to that site can also be IP blocked.

      Considering how easy it is to get from one site to another that is completely unrelated just by clicking on links, you can see that this might be a problem.

      It’s bad.

      This is a good explanation though: http://theoatmeal.com/sopa

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