Versatile Does Not Mean “Limber in the Bedroom”

For some reason, I always thought referring to someone as being versatile meant that they were somehow capable of all kinds of kinky sexy acrobatic-type stuff. Apparently, it’s actually a compliment? Mea culpa to the person I blocked on Twitter for calling me versatile and if I figure out how to unblock you I will. And I’ll mail you an apology kitten.

No, I actually got nominated by the made-of-all-things-amazing blogger Write_Me_Happy. I don’t know her real name and if I did I still wouldn’t tell you. This is the internet, you stalker. Sorry, that just slipped out. So, thank you!

The cool thing about the Versatile Blogger Award is it’s the award that keeps on giving because now I get to nominate people. I think that’s how the Nobel Prize works. Maybe not.

Anyway, here are my nominees for the Versatile Blogger Award (that sounded very Oscar-For-Best-Actress-ceremony in my head just now):

  1. DogsOnDrugs.com
  2. TheBloggess.com
  3. TamponCrafts.com
  4. Grammar.QuickandDirtyTips.com
  5. TraceyHansen.com
  6. WritingontheRocks.com
  7. RachelintheOC.com
  8. IndieBookCollective.com
  9. GoodEReader.com
  10. PubwriteGroup.com
  11. HyperboleandaHalf.Blogspot.com
  12. TheFunnyBlog.org
  13. LianaBrooks.Blogspot.com
  14. TheaAtkinson.Wordpress.com
  15. EricaLuckeDean.com

That list isn’t at all comprehensive, but I didn’t have to put a ton of effort into thinking this through. Instead, I just looked at my online history and realized that these are the blogs I go to most often because they are worth staying up late to read even though I have to go to work in the morning. I don’t have to explain to you why I spend so much time on TamponCrafts.com. That’s my business.

Part of the nomination for this prestigious award means a profile of the winner, kind of like those hazy-filtered montages they do during the Olympics where John Tesh briefly narrates the heart-wrenching life story of the little gymnast who overcame bastardism, Communism, and typhoid to triumph on the balance beam. So here is some not-so-interesting information about me:

  1. I once had to eat a live octopus because it was the polite thing to do.
  2. I stepped on a toothpick as a child and had to have it surgically removed from my foot, then proved I’d learned my lesson by stepping on something else the next month and having to have that removed as well.
  3. I once had to wear the Domino’s Noid costume in a parade because I was the only one small enough to fit in it.
  4. I auditioned to be the Water Skiing Goofy at DisneyWorld, but I’m too tall.
  5. I’ve never eaten a Big Mac in my life.
  6. My favorite wine is Southern Gold, which is grown and bottled within two miles of my house.
  7. My second car was given to me by a relative and it was a huge improvement over my first car despite that fact that its interior had once been on fire.

I didn’t leave John Tesh much to work with but the images of me staring morosely out the window will make up for it.

Finally, there are rules for those that I’ve nominated and they are listed below. Thank you to everyone involved in furthering my greatness. I will remember your kindness when I take over the world.

Fine Print for My Nominees:

1. In a post on your, blog, nominate 15 fellow bloggers for The Versatile Blogger Award.

2. In the same post, Add the Versatile Blogger Award.

3. In the same post, thank the blogger who nominated you in a post with a link back to their blog.

4. In the same post, share 7 completely random pieces of information about yourself.

5. In the same post, include this set of rules.

6. Inform each nominated blogger of their nomination by posting a comment on each of their blogs.

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3 thoughts on “Versatile Does Not Mean “Limber in the Bedroom”

  1. Thx. I’m quite versatile. #ahem

    I appreciate the award. I’m not sure I have anything as interesting as a toothpick through my foot or a burnt-out car (though a car I was in caught on fire once — I guess I could add that?)…

    okay…off I go like a bunny…

    Well, a snarky bunny anyway 🙂 …

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