This Pole Dancing Championship Post Wrote Itself

Sometimes, it’s tough to be a writer, especially one who has to be funny and biting and still spell everything correctly. Other times, the piece just writes itself. Like this one.

There is a Pole Dancing World Championship. I REALLY wish it had something to do with the national dance of Poland, but no, it has everything to do with being the best in the whole world at working the stripper pole. I do have to fully admit that this year’s competition was both fierce and very artistic in a “this is how Cirque du Soleil would look if it was naked and you could pay them in singles and maybe get a lap dance when it’s over and oh yeah, there’s a drink special tonight” kind of way. I also openly admit that I constantly mock pole dancing because I am insanely jealous that I do not look as good as they do whilst hanging upside down on a ball-bearinged fireman’s pole wearing a bikini. Take fireman’s pole however you wish. I just did, and it made me giggle.

Here is the it’s-easy-to-be-a-writer-today part: I actually found the video of this year’s world champion performance. I love how the video credits take pains to point out that this is the Women’s Pole Dancing Champion…like there’s a Men’s Pole Dancing Champion? But look further down the picture at the other video headlines.

Yes, on the same YouTube page as a gaggle of pole dancers, there is a headline about “Girl Survives with Half a Brain.” What search engine fail made thoroughbred stripper poling go hand in hand with having half a brain, you ask? The one that exists in a state of perfection, I tell ya.

P.S. Because I’m a giver who really knows her readers, here is the video of the world champion stripper pole contest. You’re welcome.