I know, I know, it’s been ages since I’ve posted anything. I’ve received several kindly emails checking on my health (actually, screw all of you…only three people thought to check on me, and one of those people was actually someone who got a new computer and somehow thought she’d unsubscribed to my blog since she hadn’t gotten any new posts lately), but I promise you, I’m healthy as a horse. Or at least healthy enough to keep working and paying taxes, according to several kindly reminders from my accountant (okay, screw him too, they weren’t kindly, they were kind of naggy).

I have an excellent excuse for not writing: I’ve been too lazy. You were warned, I did tell you that was only an excuse.

Actually, it’s kind of ironic that I put some much love, devotion, and alcohol into starting and writing this blog in the hopes of one day becoming a “real” writer, only to turn my back on it and abandon it the second I do actually become a published author. It’s like I got all celebrity on my blog, and stopped returning its phone calls. (Plus, publishers really, really hate to read a lot of new blog posts about stuff you found in your bathroom drain when they know you’re supposed to be working on the book they gave you a contract for…they send kindly little reminders, too, but theirs are even scarier than the ones from the IRS).

In the past two months since I really posted anything (and let’s face it, in the past two years since I posted anything worth reading), good things have happened, and so have monkey-ass-sucky things. Writing is good! Yea! Breaking two more molars is bad! Boo! Finding a new flavor of Chapstick is good! Yea! Wiping up the poo where my idiot dog ate it is bad! Boo!

Luckily, Thanksgiving is here, and I’ll get lots of great writing done while telling my in-laws I can’t possibly stay longer since I have a deadline to meet. This is an excuse I use every holiday, but I did tell them it was only an excuse, too.