I read an article in Wired magazine last month that said light bulbs are about to be banned, by order of the government. No, I wasn’t drinking. At the time. Apparently, back in 2007 some energy committee banned light bulbs, probably while we were asleep. I think I would remember seeing news reports that light bulbs had been declared as illegal as weed (that’s pot, to people born before 1970…the young people call it weed now), although with enough weed you kind of don’t need light bulbs anymore.
My really burning question that has been bothering me ever since reading that article is this: how are cartoon characters supposed to get ideas now? Wil E. Coyote has had a hard enough time catching that friggin’ bird as it is, and now you want him to do it with a spiral tube over his head? The whole point of light bulbs is that they actually give off light, but you want him to come up with a brilliant plan and signify it by having a slow flicker eventually achieve full brightness?
I think we’re not supposed to panic about this congressional energy bill. We’re supposed to all happily make the transition to the $4 swirly bulbs by 2015 as the government and bulb people slowly start phasing out light bulbs. Hording has been discouraged, as has looting. Outright stealing of light bulbs from the supply closet at work is still okay.
The article actually was about the newfangled light bulbs that scientists and lightbulbologists have been working on, a design concept based on row upon ugly row of LEDs wedged inside a bulbous thing. Working on? As in, haven’t perfected yet? As in, what the hell are we supposed to do in 2015 for light? Yes, according to the article, the government went ahead and banned light bulbs (I really hope I read that wrong) without a working replacement invention in place. Maybe if they’d had an incandescent bulb over their heads instead of a swirly bulb, they would have had a better idea.