How to get published

Yup, it’s true. I’m one of the 53,000,000 people you know who has written a book. It’s not a lot of fun trying to get it published, let me tell you. Imagine giving birth to a child and then some funky law requires you to walk up to strangers who may or may not like children and being forced to ask them exactly what they think of your baby, only these strangers do not have the social skills required to lie to you. They are going to tell you up-front just how butt-ugly your baby is. And when they’re done, you’re supposed to do it again.

The great thing is these people invented the line, “It’s not you, it’s me.” No one tells you that you have no ability to string six words together in any coherent fashion, or that your main character is as interesting as watching paint dry. Nope. These people say darling, hope-inspiring things like, “This is a very subjective business, so my opinion may not count,” or, “Your manuscript is intriguing, but I cannot take on a project like yours.”

Fortunately, there are some helpful websites and blogs, such as,, and There are, of course, oodles of sites out there that are helpful, but these are a few that have been kind to me so far.

Luckily, you don’t live close enough for me to snag you in the grocery store and make you read pages from book. If I did you’d never see the light of day again until you had finished it and given me glowing praise on what is sure to be the next great American novel. Or at least help me make my car payment.

Surely you have something to say about this...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s