My Annual Dose of Sand in my Swimsuit

I work in a jail. That could be where I developed my warped sense of humor, but every so often, even the inmates can’t stand my jokes anymore and they kick me out for a couple of months. I think the correct lingo is being “out on furlough.” Anyway, summer is when I get my travel fix. I’ve already shown you what kind of trouble I can get into on a roller coaster, and I’ll post the video I made for my friend’s fifteenth anniversary when I merely suggested that we all go zip lining, since wouldn’t it be a kick-ass level of poignant if you died on your anniversary from falling out of a giant tree?

Tomorrow, we head to the beach. Someone down there decided I sound really mentally together on the phone because they’re letting me rent a really big boat and take it out into the ocean. Watch your local news between Wednesday and Friday to see if it turns out badly. And for any asshats in the audience, no, that was not an invitation to break into my house between Wednesday and Friday.

So while I’m snorkeling and sunning myself and drinking tropical drinks and getting sand out of the crotch of my swimsuit whenever I think anyone isn’t looking, enjoy this video. And dear Fifteenth Anniversary Friend, I just made you world famous on my blog.

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10 responses

  1. Looks like everyone survived. If you drink more the sand in the swimsuit will bother you less. :-)

    1. My, my, I do love the way you think.

  2. Love the video, hope you’re having a great time despite the sandy crotch ;)
    eden

    1. Leave it to you to zoom in on the word “crotch.” :)

  3. Richard Wiseman | Reply

    I once worked in a prison only they pretended it was a secondary school.I did that boat thing years ago and brilliantly tied it too tightly to a concrete jetty and came back to find the tide out and the boat five feet above the water and hanging at and odd angle. The easiest way to deal with sand in the swimsuit is to build something out of it and enter a competition. As always enormously entertaining blog. Enjoy the break.

    1. Thanks for the warning about tying the boat up. I NEVER thought about that possibility! You may have just saved a life…mine, when the boat people see what I did to their boat.

  4. You are so funny! You know, sand is like a good roughage when eaten in soup.

    1. I don’t want any roughage in my crotch, thank you very much. :)

  5. Oh, Lorca. You crack me up. Enjoy that time away and have a tropical drink for me. I don’t like the sand either, you can keep it. :)

    -Jimmy

    1. Packaging some up to mail your right now. Drinks, not sand, that is…

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