I work in a jail. That could be where I developed my warped sense of humor, but every so often, even the inmates can’t stand my jokes anymore and they kick me out for a couple of months. I think the correct lingo is being “out on furlough.” Anyway, summer is when I get my travel fix. I’ve already shown you what kind of trouble I can get into on a roller coaster, and I’ll post the video I made for my friend’s fifteenth anniversary when I merely suggested that we all go zip lining, since wouldn’t it be a kick-ass level of poignant if you died on your anniversary from falling out of a giant tree?

Tomorrow, we head to the beach. Someone down there decided I sound really mentally together on the phone because they’re letting me rent a really big boat and take it out into the ocean. Watch your local news between Wednesday and Friday to see if it turns out badly. And for any asshats in the audience, no, that was not an invitation to break into my house between Wednesday and Friday.

So while I’m snorkeling and sunning myself and drinking tropical drinks and getting sand out of the crotch of my swimsuit whenever I think anyone isn’t looking, enjoy this video. And dear Fifteenth Anniversary Friend, I just made you world famous on my blog.

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